Annie Tales
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Annie stars in a series of fairly tale parodies – set in the real world – that also involve her and Jeff together. Final chap - The Little Mermaid: Annie loses her voice in order to get Jeff to act with her in a mermaid-themed play directed by the Dean.
1. Cinderella

**This is a series based on a Milady/Milord fic prompt from eleventhimpala – who previously inspired my fic "Five Friends Who Kept Jeff and Annie's Secret" This time the request was for a bunch of fairy tale themed parodies, so I am making five of them in this series.**

**They won't all be exact, dead on parodies of fairy tale stories and movies, since that would be impossible in some cases. But they will all star Annie, have a lot of Annie/Jeff stuff and be set in the real world – making this my shot at doing Community-style spoofs. The first one is here below.**

**Cinderella**

It was nothing new that Annie was stressing out at the library, trying desperately to finish a report. Doing it at night, while everyone else was at the first annual Greendale non-holiday costume ball, was a somewhat new twist. As such, it was even more normal than usual that Dean Pelton came skipping into the library, dressed in a flowing blue gown and a redheaded wig while wearing glass slippers – or at least an imitation of them.

"Oh my, I needed a breather after seeing all those John Travoltas! Even the Eddie Murphys and Tyler Perrys looked like Martin Lawrences compared to that! But of course, they _all _looked like imitation Nathan Lanes compared to-" On that note, Annie finally got her head out of her history book, if only to bite the Dean's wig off – nearly literally.

"Dean, I swear to God I'll make you a girl _for real _if you don't let me work!" she screamed, before realizing what she had done. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't expel me! At least let me finish my paper first, just let me go out on _one _high note!"

"Oh, um….okay, well, why is this paper such a high note for you, anyway?" the Dean asked, if only so Annie's mental breakdown would look more stressed out and not so….castration-ey.

"It's not the paper itself!" a still emotional Annie admitted. "I can do this 10 page paper for Professor Ganz in my sleep...when I'm on schedule! But I spent so much time working on costumes with Troy and Abed, I forgot to write ahead! I swear those two are my accidentally evil step-brothers sometimes!" she theorized.

"Well, if anyone would know how to get accidental evil super powers, it'd be them," Dean Pelton offered. "For me, my favorite evil power-"

"Dean, I don't even have time to pretend your crazy thoughts are normal! _That's _how dire this is!" Annie proclaimed as the Dean gasped. "I'm only on page _six _right now, and by the time I get to page nine, the ball will be over! I wanted to get done and go so bad, and now with this paper and all those ball thoughts distracting me, I might not do either!"

Before the Dean could choose his best line for ball thoughts, Annie put her head down and continued fearing the worst. "Now I'm only going to get an A- at best….or even a B+! Then my grades won't be perfect, and then the best jobs will reject me when I graduate, and then I'll waste away in some Dildopolis subsidiary!"

"And then you won't make Greendale famous for spawning the third female President. You might not even give us federal funds for my costume budget in 25 years! But think of how stylish Gaga will look as a grandma!" With that, the Dean got more bug and wide eyed than even Annie, yelling, "We've got to get you to that ball NOW!"

Now that Annie was slightly calmer and saw how crazy the Dean looked, she was getting sensible again – at least sensible enough to ask, "Where did you get that from? Doesn't that prove I need to work more, not go to the ball?"

"You said it yourself, you can't work as long as you're distracted by _not_ going! We get you there, you have fun, then you finish working and you fix the damage President Streep will do to us, just as God intended!" Dean Pelton proclaimed. "I'll even make Ganz give you an extension that won't show up on your permanent record! Then the Streep campaign will have to find some other way to smear you, but good luck with that!"

Annie was starting to believe this might be a good idea – which should have told her how unbalanced she was. Yet she had enough sense to ask, "Wait, I still need a costume, and the three finalists Troy and Abed chose are back home! Maybe if I-"

"NO TIME! Blippity blabbity zoom, I bequeath my gown to you, now come on!" the Dean screeched, having already taken his wig off and having started to unzip his blue dress. Soon he was left in his boxers, as Annie willed herself to just look at the dress on the floor. "Oh, I see you eying my imitation glass slippers…" Dean Pelton wrongly assumed. "Fine, take them too! But I need them back by 10:45 p.m. or I can't get my deposit back in time! It might make me too worried to make a good extension case!"

"Fine, fine, whatever you want, it's a deal!" Annie agreed as she took the dress and slippers from the Dean. "Wait, you need one more thing!" Dean Pelton then went into his pocket and pulled out a blue sleeping mask with eyeholes cut out. "_One _of us should use this…..and since I'm sacrificing my big closing act as Super Dean for you…."

"All right, I'll take that too!" Annie conceded. "Now please get me that extension and give me some privacy! I can't afford to wonder if it's okay to undress in front of you!" Annie packed up her research material, took the ensemble and gave the Dean as good of a one-armed hug as she could before running. "Well, someone's earned a cabinet post to old Justin Bieber's house," the Dean proudly said as he went off, oblivious to his relative lack of attire.

Annie had more than enough attire as she left the bathroom and headed to the ball. She was fully dressed in Dean Pelton's dress, redheaded wig, glass slippers, and mask she only wore to make the Dean talk to Ganz faster. Yet she tried to put work thoughts out of her head, and was 40 percent successful – manly thanks to how hard it was to walk in the slippers – by the time she reached the cafeteria/ball room.

She got to 55 percent when she noticed Britta's frog costume, then to 75 when she saw Troy and Abed in action as Apollo Creed and Predator. Before Annie considered letting them off the hook after all, her thoughts completely vanished once Jeff came into view.

Trusting her entire academic future to the Dean's power of persuasion was utterly worth it. It had to be, since she was now seeing Jeff in an honest to God's costume. He was an honest to Gods prince, with a white coat top and blue tassles – and his visible discomfort wasn't as extreme as Annie would have guessed. But before she could make herself talk again and ask about this, Jeff approached her first.

"So, what enchanted kingdom did you escape from tonight?" Oh God, Jeff was giving _her _a cheesy pickup line….which Annie would probably have to respond to at some point. But when she did, it came out in a raspy voice not that far off from her Christian Bale impression. "Oh it's not far from here, really…." Annie rasped out before realizing what she was doing,

"Well, my way here was probably longer, but I'm glad I wasted all that horse power now. Now maybe my horses will stop nagging about that carrot shortage for one night." Annie laughed a deep laugh to stay in character, then remembered she wasn't _planning _to play a character.

But she was in disguise, Jeff didn't recognize her and was _actually p_icking her up! And it would be too embarrassing now to tell him the truth….or explain that she was in the Dean's ensemble.

Maybe she could play the part for just one minute before revealing herself and scaring him away for another semester….or two. Of course that was probably her mixed up, chaotic brain talking and making her forget her morals.

"From the sound of your voice, it sounds like your kingdom's near a pollution district or something," Jeff countered anyway. With that, Annie put aside moral dilemmas and focused on an in-character answer.

"Well, um….we're working on tougher environmental laws now. But the darned evil troll lobby just won't get out of the unicorn lobby's way!" she almost coughed out. Yet she was proud of her satirical answer, as months of living with Troy and Abed had honed her improv skills.

"Yeah, they get real crabby in an election year. At least the crabs sing with mermaids to entertain us after work," Jeff responded. Annie was oh so tempted to quip about mermaids and bike chains, but that would surely give her away. So she settled for, "I think unicorns are better singers myself. But just for full disclosure, my mom the Queen has unicorn blood in her."

Annie chuckled as best she could in her voice – both from her mom sharing anything with a unicorn and from Jeff laughing with her. And every time she kept vowing to herself to come clean after that, either she or Jeff came up with new banter. They were having the usual back and forth that they had at their best, only now it was while acting and it was at a ball. What's more, even the rest of the group didn't come near them to pop Jeff's bubble – or Annie's.

They were left to themselves as Annie dug herself in deeper – even when most everyone else left at the end. But there was still time for one last dance – and Jeff even asked Annie to take part. Although she didn't know what time it was, what all this meant for her and Jeff and whether the Dean actually saved her grade, Annie wanted to fit in _one _dance before she headed into Jeff and 4.0 GPA exile.

As Annie reveled in how regular Jeff wouldn't do this, she blurted out "You know, I wasn't sure you were the kind of prince that….danced like this." Annie flushed, although her facial expressions were hidden pretty well by her mask. Yet Jeff answered, "Well, that's pretty true…..most of the time and with most people. But with you….you're the exception to a lot of things that I just can't ignore anymore."

Annie gasped in a cross between her rasp and her usual fluttery coo. This actually made her cough for a second, yet when Jeff put his hand under her chin afterwards, she couldn't make any noises anymore. Not when she wanted to close her mouth and use her lips without making a sound…..at least _during _kisses….

Annie looked back again at how she wasn't able to go to this ball, and now thanks to the Dean and his costume and glass slippers, she….wait….. "Oh God, what time is it?" she coughed out. Jeff looked at his very out of place modern day watch and announced, "Almost quarter to 11….that's perfect."

"No it isn't!" Annie yelled, remembering she had to get those slippers back to Dean Pelton right now. Once that fear reopened, it triggered all the other ones about her paper and grades….and new ones about what she had done to deceive Jeff. "I, I, I've got to go…." Annie stated, feeling the urge to just run away.

"Wait! I don't know your name, how will I find you?" Jeff asked. That's right, they never actually said their names, not even fake ones! But maybe that would work for the best….leaving aside how Jeff would wonder who his mystery princess was, search all over for her and rub it all in Annie's face without knowing it…..

If Annie had to suffer through that, she would _at least _have perfect grades to comfort her. To do that, she had to leave, give back the slippers and costume, make sure she had her extension, work and sleep at the library, turn her paper in and _then _cry her eyes out. That would work as long as she didn't look back at Jeff. "I, I said I have to go…." Annie said in her quietest and weakest raspy voice.

With that, she turned around and started to run – as best she could in those slippers. But after her left one slipped off, Annie ran ten uneasy steps before she realized what happened. She then turned and ran in unbalanced fashion towards the lost slipper, hoping to get it back before Jeff caught up. However, he already had it by the time she finished her eighth step back.

Then if that wasn't enough, she thought she heard him say, "Annie, stop!"

When it registered that she _did _hear that, Annie froze and backed up in shock that Jeff recognized her. For however long, she didn't know – and had lost the mental capacity to figure out. Yet going backwards on one so-called glass slipper did jostle her enough to stop walking. At that point, Jeff went over with the other slipper and slipped it back on her left foot.

Okay, first Annie would ask questions and _then _she would melt to the ground. "You….you know who I am?" Annie eventually finished in her normal voice.

"Annie, even though I can barely see your eyes, do you _really _think I wouldn't recognize them? Or recognize your Christian Bale voice? Or that you're the only one who could have fit the Dean's dress? Trust me, you're not on Troy or Abed's acting level quite yet," Jeff joked, although that both helped and hurt Annie's efforts to figure this out.

"You knew the whole time….and you _still_ let me play a character? And w_ooed _her? What the hell?" Annie asked, now feeling a little upset that Jeff let her keep lying.

"Well, I, um…." Jeff stammered, so Annie knew this couldn't be good. She steadied herself for disappointment again, until he got out, "I figured the longer I played your game, it might….say what I wanted to say to you without getting sappy."

"That….barely helps me out here, Jeff," Annie stayed steady enough to say.

"Fine, so I wanted to use this costume ball as a way to….confess some things! So I actually bought a costume and practiced confessing to mirrors all week! So I got ticked when you had to write your paper instead! So I got excited when I saw you anyway – but not _that _kind of excited…..not entirely….." Jeff tried to shake that off before going on.

"So I wanted to use this prince routine to help me confess stuff, okay? Then I got caught up in your disguised princess routine and talking to you, like I always do! Then I made Troy and Abed keep the group from bothering us, since they owed you big! Then I kept going with this game and….put off confessing to you as me….and now _that_ plan's run its course."

"Jeff…." was all Annie could say as herself. Then she remembered she should be herself for this, so she took off her wig and mask. Jeff's growing smile at that made Annie more emboldened to ask, "So about these confessions…."

"Right, those. Well…..the one where I said you're the exception I can't ignore anymore is pretty good. I think me wanting to ignore the evil troll lobby should work too," Jeff hoped, then paused and groaned, "All right, all right, I got this…..I want our two kingdoms to join together. Not in the arranged married way, I mean! Just the….being together way."

That convinced Annie just enough to make her catch her breath and feel like a real princess.

"You mean….the costume, the banter….letting me act like someone else because I was too embarrassed…..all those other really out of character things….were to tell me _that_?" Jeff just nodded, clearly too embarrassed himself to say any more – yet he looked less mindful of it as Annie kept smiling. "Oh God….maybe I owe Troy and Abed and Professor Ganz big after all! Better late than….."

But with that, the harsher reality of tonight returned to Annie's mind. "Crap! I still have the….f-wording paper and these slippers! I have to go fix that right now!"

"Annie, I just humiliated myself for a _good_ cause for once. You can embarrass yourself by being out of character as well," Jeff said to make Annie stay. Yet even after all this, Annie wasn't deterred.

"Jeff! I know my grade obsession isn't your favorite thing about me, but now you _really _have to learn to live with it! Just, just let me return the Dean's stuff, get my extension, finish my paper tonight, edit it with my extra time tomorrow….and then in two days top we'll work out the rest of….us. Okay? I want to get the guy _and _my A at the same time!"

"Well….if anyone deserves to have it all more…." Jeff conceded, giving in yet again to Annie – but for the first time in their new era. And now that this was a new era, Annie could reward him with a big, all too brief kiss on the lips _and _a hug.

"There…._now _I have it all," Annie declared after breaking from Jeff. With that, Jeff just froze there as Annie skipped out – then finally took the slippers off when she couldn't skip in them.

She knew after this exhausting night and what she did with Jeff, it should be _harder _to concentrate on her paper than it was a few hours ago. But it was harder back then due in part to not going to the ball.

Yet now that Annie had gone and had a real life fairy tale ball, she would focus a lot better. At least in between no more than two-three post midnight, love fueled, sleep deprived daydreams.


	2. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

**Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs**

Annie was the first to come into the study room on Monday morning, as always. And as always, she was even earlier than usual on a Monday, since it was her favorite day of the week. Of course, she knew by now to keep that to herself with the others – at least more than she used to.

But since Annie was the first one here, she could hum all she wanted from her joy over returning to school. The weekend wasn't as long and torturous as usual, and she had her favorite yellow cardigan/blue skirt combination on, so she was belting a pretty good song in her heart. However, she still knew she had to stop humming when the others arrived.

Fortunately, Shirley was the next to arrive, as she was always in a happy mood on a Monday. Since she was in church 24 hours ago and had quality time with Andre and the boys all weekend, she was still riding high. Annie knew to savor these moments while she could, before the rest of the week chipped away at Shirley's happy mood.

And it looked like it was getting off to a head start now, as Pierce arrived with a grumpy look. "You want my advice? When you duel _your _dead dad in a dream, do _not _use a magic sword you got from a hot mermaid! They'll backfire on you every time and the mermaid sex is only 95% worth it! I knew I should have tested the sword in bed, but it just_ had_ to look five times bigger than my penis! Not that it isn't only two times bigger in the real world!"

Thankfully for Annie and Shirley's decreasing good moods, Troy and Abed made their entrance. But Annie still looked disappointed when she saw Abed in a white wig with hair sticking up everywhere. "He _still _hasn't detoxed yet? I thought being back in school would help him!" Annie protested to Troy.

"Annie, I've seen him detox from playing Doc Brown at least three times more than you. Trust me, he's actually ahead of schedule," Troy pointed out. Annie had to take his word for it – plus Abed was making progress by doing impressions by himself now. As such, being "Back To The Future"'s Doc Brown all day yesterday in the Dreamatorium was still a step up for Abed.

"Strange, I don't remember the DeLorean taking me to this timeline. This scott doesn't look great quite yet," Abed/Doc Brown confessed.

"It's okay, Doc. The DeLorean's been destroyed, you came back to the present in your flying train, and I like people calling me chicken now! Your work is done, at least until the reboot or Part IV starring Marty Jr. Power those gigawatts down, Doc….that's it…." Troy urged until Abed seemed to snap out of it and take off his wig.

"Oh, hey Troy, hey guys. Did I make it in time for this week's cold opening?" Abed asked as if nothing happened at all. "Yeah, buddy, we wouldn't freeze our openings without you!" Troy cheered with a dopey grin before performing their usual handshake.

As Annie barely wrapped her head around the usual Troy/Abed madness, Britta was barely making herself walk into the room. "Don't even….something…." was all she could mutter as she slumped into her seat. "Word of advice, not all psych books have hidden meanings when you're hi….." she trailed off as her sleepy head fell on the table.

"This is great!" Shirley cheered. "I couldn't exorcise the pot out of her the last two times she studied high! But the third time's got to be the charm, oh happy day!"

"Shirley, you…..ugh, I can't even tear apart religion right now…." Britta yawned against the table.

"Oh big deal, _I'll _never get it up to mermaids or cutting my dad in half again! At least not before 5 a.m., and that's the _good _dream time! Damn you, shell boobs!" Pierce grumped.

"You know, I'll bet Doc Brown could have taken you back in time and helped you cut him in half for real," Abed pointed out. "As long as you don't gamble or replace Crispin Glover, you'll probably keep the time-space continuum intact."

"But what if he turns 'Johnny Be Good' into a_ jazz_ number?" Troy asked worriedly. Abed thought about it and then answered, "Yeah, that'd be too great and terrible a risk. I guess there are some things even Doc Brown can't tamper with. Good job saving music history, Troy," Abed complimented as Troy gave another dopey smile and basked in saving history. "Sorry Pierce, looks like Jeff still got to kill your dad after all," Abed announced.

"Oh, don't wipe my rap sheet clean on my account." With that, Jeff was officially the last one in, as always. However, Annie's usual smile at seeing Jeff was smaller than usual, since Jeff sounded a little stuffy. "Jeff, are you going to ruin my Monday by getting sick?" Shirley asked for Annie.

"Shirley, the only thing sick about my body is my abs, and a few other finely tuned body parts. So before you accuse this temple of having the sniffles, check your facts next…." Jeff then had to stop his egotistical bragging long enough to sneeze into his hand. He used his other hand to reach into his pocket – but was a bit more worried when he then reached into his other pocket.

"Wait, the tissues are gone already?" he asked into his dirty hand. "Then what do I wipe myself with? I can't get it on my wardrobe and make _it_ contagious!"

"It's all right, I've got this," Annie assured as she reached into his backpack. "You're not the only one who doesn't want to get sneezy, Jeff. But I can spare _some _tissues and be ready if a cold tries to keep _me_ from school."

"I'm not sneezy and I don't have a cold!" Jeff still insisted even as he talked into his unclean hand. "If I was, then you'd risk getting sick just by being near me. And if you gave me tissues and got near me, _you'd_ risk getting contaminated. So wouldn't you rather celebrate that the _both_ of us aren't sick?"

"Well, you're more important right now than me getting sick, okay?" Annie admitted before backtracking. "I mean….if _you_ get sick, you can't lead the group through this week's adventure, and then where will we be? So for the good of the group, I'll risk taking one for the team."

It was very doubtful that the group bought that cover up, or that Jeff even did. But what he did get out of it was, "You'd risk getting sick and missing school?" With that affirmation of how important he was to Annie, Jeff actually reached out with his clean hand and took the tissues Annie offered. He stuffed all but two in his pocket, then wiped his hand with one and wiped his nose with the other.

Yet in spite of that sight, Jeff still smiled softly in thanks and Annie gave a bashful smile of her own. She managed to stop herself from humming in song again too, in spite of breathing near Jeff's contaminated air.

"Hey, you and her get a…." Britta tried to say before getting too sleepy to finish. "God, you're lucky my textbooks aren't the Wizard of Oz!" Before Annie could even begin to decode that, Chang rushed into the study room and right towards her.

"Thank God you're here! I don't have time to explain, but the only way for me to protect Greendale is to cut out your heart!" Chang declared. "Trust me, it'll break the spell around this place and make me the fairest in the land! Then the talking animals will serve me and save us all….that's worth cutting out your heart for me, right?"

"Ew, not even close!" Annie yelled, wanting to dismiss this as another Chang delusion – and mentally preparing to run if he really had heart-cutting tools. But Jeff then stepped in and said, "You know, if you need a heart, why don't you take out Leonard's? He's lived forever, and you probably need a real experienced heart to break the spell! If it could keep _him _standing for 120 years, it can do anything!"

"You're right….this one probably couldn't even get the mines running again!" Chang gestured to a still confused Annie. "Chang you, Jeff, but in the good way this time! Now where's that old warlock heart?" Chang called out as he ran away.

"Well, that should fill our Monday weirdness quota ahead of schedule," Jeff declared before getting one of Annie's tissues out and blowing his nose. But by the time he looked back up – and by the time Annie could savor Jeff 'saving' her – Dean Pelton arrived wearing a black cloak, a fake hump, grotesque old lady makeup and a big fake nose, while carrying a basket of apples. "Ah, summoned on cue as usual, evil queen."

"Thank you for the royal promotion, Jeffrey," Dean Pelton said obliviously. "That means you _have_ to listen to my decree that it's health week! If you don't eat right, even perfect specimens like Jeffrey can turn into old, decaying, only moderately sexy creatures like this!" he gestured to his own attire. "So take this cautionary tale to heart and pig out on these apples, not much more delicious pigs!"

"You just got suckered into buying old lady makeup with your new costumes. And now you're making up gimmicks to get rid of it, right?" Jeff theorized before sneezing.

"How I fail to read fine print for misleading sales is not the issue, Jeffrey! Maybe a few apples will get that nose dripping in the right way again," the Dean proposed.

"You know, if you put _that_ on and still let yourself talk about noses, you deserve whatever jokes you get," Jeff countered and pointed at the Dean's big fake nose. However, Annie then stepped in before the Dean could retort or cry. "Noses aside, you are right! Health is very important, and I want my mind _and _body to be at tip top strength! So I'd like to take an apple, please."

The Dean nodded and handed over an apple, to which Annie thanked him and took a big bite. But then she froze after biting down – and then yelled in pain. "Ow! Ow, my tooth!" Annie repeated after she took the apple out. But Jeff was already on his feet by then.

"Let me see!" Jeff ordered as Annie opened her mouth, then he saw Britta waking up and trying to come up with a quip. "Go right back to sleep, Britta!" Jeff commanded, and Britta tried to grumble out how Jeff didn't own her before laying her head back down. With that, Jeff turned back to Annie's open mouth, although he had absolutely no idea what to look for. "Which tooth hurts, Annie?" Jeff asked with slightly more control.

"My left front tooth….I think it's loose!" But when Annie tried to touch it with her tongue, she cringed and groaned in pain again. Jeff then turned his full fury on Dean Pelton, declaring, "Okay, I didn't want to send you to Gitmo for your crimes until I became a lawyer again! But I guess you _really _can't wait that long to be waterboarded!"

"No, I can't get water on this makeup! Have mercy!" the Dean cringed. "Oh, I'm melting, I'm melting….not even in the hot way!"

"Ugh, at least get your wicked witches straight!" Jeff groaned, now turning his attention back to Annie. "Forget it, you're lucky we have to go to the dentist anyway!"

"What?" Annie yelled before aggravating her tooth again. "Jeff, I'm not leaving school for this, I'll be fine! I'll just skip lunch and snacks and then go after school!"

"Nope, can't risk it!" Annie couldn't even ask what 'it' was, since Jeff had moved on to searching her backpack. Finally he pulled out a group of pens. "There are your pens that record classes, right? Good! Abed!" Jeff rushed through before going to Abed's chair. "I know this isn't like a movie, but even Doc Brown worked on projects other than the DeLorean! _This_ is your DeLorean sabbatical! You'll record biology for Annie, then give the other pens to people from her other classes to record them too! Then collect the pens at the end of the day and give them to Annie, and she'll take notes if the dentist lets her!"

"Well….this is certainly heavy," Abed reflected as he accepted the pens from Jeff. But Annie still went over and exclaimed, "Jeff, this isn't necessary! What if he doesn't angle the pens just right and the recordings get garbled? That's too great a risk, so I'm telling you again I'm fine!" Unfortunately, she gritted her teeth together and hurt herself again, disproving her point.

"Right, off we go, then. The rest of you, make sure the Dean doesn't leave the country," Jeff insisted, taking Annie's backpack and leading her out despite her groans and final protests. Once they were gone, Britta woke back up suddenly and mumbled out, "What'd I miss?" before seeing the Dean and screaming at him.

"Sigmund Freud in old lady makeup! You've come back to finish me off before I got sober! Well, I'm ready for you this time!" she cried before jumping up and beating up the Dean's fake hump with the little energy she had. "Oh God, this isn't the manhandling I imagined I'd get in here!" the Dean protested.

Outside of Greendale, Jeff drove Annie to the first dentist with a nice office building that he could find. Using all the charm and lawyer tricks he had, he got Annie to get examined within two hours. Then he used several new ones to set an appointment for her to get her tooth fixed and healed hours later.

The pain and Jeff's rush to destroy it left Annie too blindsided to nitpick – but she had time late that afternoon while they were in the waiting room. Plus after Abed called and reassured her that the pens recorded everything, she was much more at ease to ask some questions.

"Jeff, what's _really _with the rush to save my tooth?" Annie asked while moving her mouth carefully. "If this is about paying me back for the tissues…."

"No, you….just need that tooth healthy before anything else happens to it," Jeff answered, although his voice seemed to waver for reasons other than his sinuses.

"Why is it so important to _you _that something doesn't happen to it?" Annie dared to ask. She soon realized that going into that type of issue in a waiting room, where people could hear them and judge Jeff, probably wouldn't work. So she resigned herself that she wouldn't get anything clear out of him – and she probably had more pressing concerns now anyway.

But Annie then heard Jeff mutter something, although the clearest word she heard was "smile." "What was that?" she asked, as Jeff was looking anywhere but at Annie. She tapped him on the shoulder a few times until he did look back, then smiled to try and encourage him to talk. But when she grimaced a little from her toothache, Jeff finally spoke.

"You have the best smile in school….probably the best one anywhere else, too. I….I don't want that smile to get ruined by one bad tooth….not on _my _watch," Jeff assured. "Besides, the Dean probably wanted _me_ to eat that apple, and I let you take the rap anyway…."

"Jeff, that's not your fault, _I'm _the health nut!" Annie reminded him. "You can't hate yourself for every bad thing that happens to me. Especially when you do….stuff like this when it's _not _your fault! The fact that you go all out to help me when stuff is your fault or not….it means more than anything you _might_ have let happen. That's how I know it's going to be okay and _nothing_ else matters. So I hope you know it at some point too."

Annie spoke gently and smiled as wide as she could under the pain – all of which seemed to make Jeff calm down and be quiet. In fact, he stayed quiet the rest of the wait, and even only waved at Annie when it was her turn to go into the dentist's office. Nevertheless, Annie chose to think he was okay – she certainly wanted to go under the dentist's gas on a high note.

Once she went under, the next thing Annie knew was that she probably felt like Britta when she was….mellow. However, she also thought she felt a pair of lips pressing against hers. When she finally opened her eyes and saw Jeff standing over her, she was half convinced she had hallucinated that feeling. Otherwise it would be like Jeff kissed her to wake up her up, after she was knocked out to fix what an apple did to her.

That's the kind of magic that starts animation empires, but Annie was on too many painkillers to know if it was reality. So she just smiled at Jeff with no pain at all again and said nothing, enjoying the relief and his company.

For his part, Jeff figured he'd let her enjoy the high and her fixed tooth tonight, let her furiously write her notes tomorrow, then tell her more about his stealth kiss and….other things the next day – when her perfect smile could properly light up everything again.

Assuming that she didn't catch his cold by then.


	3. Beauty and the Beast

**Beauty and the Beast**

Annie had mortified herself enough in her life to make up four lifetimes. Yet even after all her past embarrassments, this one was still a few inches shy of the top spot. And it didn't even happen to her – although she _was _utterly responsible.

She just _had _to Disney face Jeff into being the werewolf in Troy and Abed's latest weekend movie shoot. If she hadn't done that, maybe Chang or Dean Pelton would have had the werewolf makeup on long enough to get stuck on _their_ face. At least she could laugh at them _before _she hated herself for laughing. With Jeff as the victim, she just hated herself.

The whiskers, facial hair and wig were stuck on so good that they wouldn't come off for a week. At least according to the doctor that Jeff made some….unique threats against if he didn't keep doctor-patient confidentiality. After Annie, Troy and Abed put a black, impossible to see through bag over Jeff's head and drove him home, Troy and Abed agreed to keep quiet without needing….so many threats.

But Annie beat Jeff to the punch, as she promised she would do anything he wanted until the makeup could come off. In fact, she didn't even protest when Jeff told her he wasn't coming to school or leaving his apartment all week. Not out loud, anyway.

Eventually, they worked out a system in which Annie would get his material for class all week, and do every single thing that Jeff would do outside. No one other than Troy or Abed would know why Jeff was really out, and Annie would be on Jeff's call at all times, no questions asked.

Under normal circumstances, Annie would chide Jeff for being vindictive, and for overreacting over how his face looked. It was a big deal, of course, but he was just so….vain and obsessed with his looks that he was going way overboard. In fact, he still looked kind of cute and it was still sweet that he dressed up like this for his friends.

But since the embarrassing end result was all Annie's fault, all she could do was whatever Jeff said. If he thought he was such a beast that he couldn't step out of his apartment, she had to indulge him until he looked normal again.

Annie spent most of Sunday doing Jeff's chores and indulging his pouts. It was certainly not how she imagined spending most of the day in Jeff's apartment in the past. Then on Monday, she got materials for Biology and all of Jeff's classes, although it ate into her own study and work and group time. She also made sure Troy and Abed didn't tell anyone what happened, and narrowly convinced the others that Jeff was really sick and only wanted her, Troy and Abed to handle his care. All of that did a real number on her even before she started on Jeff's chores after school.

But of course, Jeff didn't give out a thank you, or show any signs that he would accept Annie's 125 apologies soon. He just took his stuff, made her go to his favorite bar to get him beer, and kept telling her not to go in his bedroom when he went there for minutes at a time. This continued for Tuesday and most of Wednesday, with Annie forcing herself not to reach her breaking point.

Finally on Wednesday night, Annie dropped by with another full beer mug, having only spilled a few drops. She came into the apartment and didn't see Jeff anywhere, so she softly asked "Jeff?" once. Eventually, she reasoned he was in the bedroom, which led her to put down the mug, go to the door and fully intend to just knock.

Yet that was before she heard Jeff say, "You like werewolves, right? That's your secret sex fetish, isn't it?" What the hell? "Look, I was told you could pretend you found _adult_ werewolves hot." What was Jeff calling….was it….? "Look, _one _of these phone sex lines has to have werewolf fetish girls that aren't Twilight fans! There are dark places I'll go to for phone sex, but pretending to be Taylor Lautner is just too sick! Just pretend you find very slightly middle aged werewolves hot already!"

But apparently that was too tall an order, since Annie heard Jeff hang up a second later. As she took in all the disturbing details, she couldn't quite take in Jeff opening the bedroom door in time. "Annie?" Jeff asked before he shifted into full on werewolf rage.

"Jeff, I…." Annie started, yet Jeff finished for her. "I asked you not to go near the bedroom when I'm in here! Do you realize what you could have heard?" he yelled. "But I already…." Annie trailed off before seeing how she gave herself away.

"Get out," Jeff all but growled, then yelled a louder "GET OUT!" which looked even more intimidating in werewolf makeup. Annie then rushed out on cue and slammed the door – then when she was overcome by sad/angry emotion, she finally let herself cry.

She cried because she hated Jeff at that moment, and hated herself for _still _feeling sorry for him anyway. Then she angry cried because he _still _wouldn't give her a break, which made her just about ready to go home and let Troy and Abed blab to the group. As Annie stormed down the hall, her phone vibrated and she only took it to do _something _other than seethe and cry.

Of course, it was a text from Jeff. Yet it threw her off by saying _"Please come back."_ Well, it was a new way to trick her into being insulted and yelled at….but what if that wasn't it? Even a pre-werewolf Jeff never used "Please" in texts before.

Annie sighed and went back to Jeff's door, still ready to storm out at a moment's notice. But her resolve almost melted away when Jeff answered the door.

In those rare moments when he let himself look sad and remorseful, it was heartbreaking enough. Yet seeing that look in werewolf garb would have made Annie cry _sad_ tears for Jeff, if not for her pesky self-esteem.

"Well….the beer's still good," Jeff tried to quip, which almost made Annie storm off for good. However, Jeff put his human hand on Annie's shoulder before she could move. Before she knew it, she made herself over to the couch as Jeff sat to join her.

"I guess Abed didn't tell you I call phone sex lines…or that I sometimes say I'm fat so I could pretend a fat me is attractive," Jeff started.

"Um….how would he know that, exactly?" was all Annie was comfortable enough to ask.

"Actually, we can go through one trauma at a time," Jeff offered, to which Annie bit back a smile. She waited for him to make the next move, which he finally did seconds later.

"You've all had your fun joking at how vain I am. But I have to be proud of my looks….they make everything else possible. I'm serious….I have my speeches and legal skills and magic fingers, yeah. But do you think anyone would take them seriously without my moneymaker?" Jeff asked while pointing to a picture of his regular face. "Yeah, I know, _you _don't care about that stuff….but the rest of the world isn't you."

Annie couldn't entirely argue with that, so she let herself hear Jeff out. "My looks are the only skill I have that I could always fall back on. I don't have the law anymore, and my speeches and ways with women aren't as perfect as they used to be. Without my looks, I don't even have the tricks and confidence to do _that _stuff well! They're the foundation of all that makes me me….they open the door to make people see the other things I have to offer. Without that, the rest falls apart for me….and then I need stuff like phone sex and….yelling at the only other…._real_ thing I have left," Jeff said while gesturing towards Annie.

"Jeff…." Annie trailed off, back in full on heartbreak for Jeff mode.

"See, you're _still _feeling sorry for me and I _still _snapped at you anyway! It's easier for me to forget that I can get….ugly like that when the moneymaker's on fire. Right now….there's no buffer for me to hide the ugly stuff in. The only other thing that kind of keeps me in check is you….and here I am trying to push you away too," Jeff admitted.

As flattered and overwhelmed as Annie was from Jeff talking about her that way – it just made the guilt overwhelm it anyway. "But I helped! I made you like this and I spied on you when you said not to! You're not the only beast here!"

"I will be once I forgive you and say I'm sorry….which, by the way, I am. Is that enough to make you normal again?" Jeff checked.

"I don't know….saying I'm sorry doesn't work the first 150 times. You still have 149 to go before it works," Annie said, although she said it in her most teasing tone.

"I'm not going anywhere and now _no one's_ calling me, I got nothing but time," Jeff teased back, as both laughed a bit and were amazed to get back into form so soon. But the recent past still hung over them a bit, so Annie was the first to address it in this round.

"Jeff, your looks don't define you….or define how you use your other good qualities. I mean, you apologized to me although you were furious a second ago, and you did it in werewolf makeup! Just like you apologize after you really screw up when you're handsome! If you can do that no matter how you look, then your face can't be why you did it, right?" Annie proposed.

"Well….it helped that you came back before I changed my mind," Jeff pointed out.

"Of course I did, you asked me to," Annie said like it was the only logical explanation. She only now saw how it might look like she was crawling back to someone who was mean to her. But Jeff had been mean to her before and never looked this apologetic – with or without makeup. "Thank you for coming back, then," Jeff said to bring it home.

"Thanks for asking me back then, too," Annie countered. "Well, I had to….it's no fun being mad at you. And I wind up hating it even when it _is_ fun," Jeff confessed.

"You know what might be fun? I've been getting beer for you for days, and I've never actually drank it. There's not enough for me to get drunk, so….you want to split an 'I'm sorry' pint or not?" Annie offered.

"Now _that _I can do no matter how I look," Jeff noted, before getting to find a glass for Annie. He then poured half his beer into it and gave it to Annie as she sat back on the couch with him. "To being sorry and….finding buffers for our ugliness. Whether it's truly ugly or not," Annie proposed.

"That's the best thing I've had to drink to all week," Jeff said, then toasted with Annie – and barely kept from laughing and spitting up his beer as she struggled to swallow hers.

That opened the floodgates to a rather peaceful rest of the week. It even got easier for Annie to keep the group from visiting Jeff, as they just passed on any get well gifts and well wishes to her – even the inappropriate ones. Yet it was more than made up by how much easier things got in Jeff's apartment. In fact, the more Jeff and Annie actually talked, the more Jeff forgot he was doing it with a werewolf face.

As it turned out, talking to Annie, making her laugh and laughing with her was something else he could do wearing anything. Once that sank in, he let Annie stick around longer and longer after finishing her daily tasks.

By Saturday, Annie's chores were nonexistent, yet Jeff still let her spend most of the day in the apartment. With her around to distract him, there was something there in these dark, unsexy times that wasn't there before. Maybe _that_ made him admit that even if no one knew what happened to Jeff's face, Annie was the only one he'd trust to tell anyway.

As Annie tried to contain her happy tears – and her thoughts about how Jeff's fake facial hair would tickle her if they kissed – she snapped out of it when her phone rang. It was another text, but this one was from Troy and Abed. Now that Jeff would be back to normal soon, they were guilt-free enough to shoot another project tomorrow – and they wanted to give Annie a juicy part.

"You should go," Jeff finally said after Annie informed him. "But Jeff, I still have to do what you say until that makeup comes off," Annie reminded him, as if that was her _only _reason to come by tomorrow.

"Then I release you. You are no longer my prisoner. They're comfortable with playing around again, so you should be too," Jeff reasoned. Annie wished she didn't suspect that wasn't the _only _reason he said that.

But it wasn't like he was sending her away forever – and it wasn't like she was never planning to see him again after being "released." After all they did while she was in "captivity" why would Annie not come back the first chance she got?

"All right….I'll get my scenes done as soon as possible tomorrow, then come back to see the old Jeff back in action!" Annie cheered. For his part, Jeff tried not to flush over hearing her say "Jeff" and "action" so close together.

"All right then….next time you see me, werewolf Jeff will be dead," Jeff declared – sounding a bit less relieved about it than he expected. Then before he knew it, he took his cell phone and did something else he never expected to – take a picture of his unsexy face. After sending it to Annie's phone, he explained, "Go ahead and take that….in case you always want to look back and remember me and all. I mean, if that's your thing."

Despite his nonchalance and way too casual language, Annie knew just how big this was for Jeff. "Thank you…..and thank you for understanding how much Troy and Abed need me. At least so _they _don't wear all the dresses." With that, Annie hesitated and wondered if a good bye kiss would be appropriate, or even a good idea.

Yet giving her proof that he was a werewolf was a big enough step for Jeff, so Annie just smiled and left. Jeff recoiled after she shut the door, having thought that the picture was a big enough signal for a good bye kiss. But of course, kissing a monster Jeff just wasn't a big enough step for her to take.

Jeff shook off that thought for the night, yet it came back again the next day when the makeup still wouldn't come off. He sat around until mid-afternoon, still looking like a werewolf and starting to think he'd have to miss school on Monday after all. And with Annie not here to distract him or talk him down or….be there to make him think other stuff wasn't such a bad idea….it was hard for the beast not to be depressed again.

However, Jeff jumped up once he heard a knock on the door. He ran to answer it, then remembered he still had some pride left. So he peeked through the door peep hole – then deflated when he saw who was there. Not only wasn't it Annie, it was Dean Pelton in what looked to be a way too unbuttoned red shirt, a way too fluffy black wig, black pants, brown boots and a prop rifle – at least Jeff _hoped _it was a prop.

"Dean-jour, werewolf Jeffrey! Open up and let the hunter see his prey, stuff it and take 10 billion pictures of it! My camera says it can only take 500, but I stopped taking a machine's word when-" There was no way Jeff wanted to hear the rest of that, so he chimed in, "No, no to every single word of that! Especially me being a werewolf!"

"Come on, Jeffrey, I saw Troy and Abed scouting shooting locations yesterday! After I heard them talk about you being a werewolf, I got all I needed from them." Damnit, first they take Annie away from him and now _this_? Wait, that came out wrong in Jeff's head.

"Well, go back and get some more! Take 100 years if you have to get it right, I don't care!" Jeff tried to reason. "Oh no, Jeffrey, not until I get cool pictures of you and me for my screensaver! The ones with you in a cowboy hat had a good three year run, but it's time to let them retire in peace!" the Dean insisted. "Of course, if I told the school about your 'sickness' instead, I might get a few more months out of them!"

He couldn't possibly be blackmailing him _again_ – apparently Jeff didn't kill him bad enough after karaoke. Yet the second he came out to kill him now, the Dean would get his proof and do God knows what with those pictures – and making them public might be the _least _sickening thing he could do. So Jeff doubled down and pointed out, "Good luck telling them without proof! Especially proof about something that's not true!"

"Jeffrey, they don't need to believe me. The mere rumor that you've been a werewolf for a week will be funny enough to them. And that will kill you and your rep just as much as the truth." Damnit, he actually _knew _Jeff's mind after studying him for three years! The rumors would be rep killing enough, and then Troy or Abed or Annie would crack, and then some wacky misunderstanding would expose Annie's werewolf Jeff photo. Then Jeff's sex appeal would be finished, and then everything else would come apart too.

All he could do was wait the Dean out until the makeup _finally _came off…..which might be _never _at this point. But the Dean had to leave by Monday morning, so Jeff could still hold out that long.

"God, I'm already bored with this waiting!" Dean Pelton whined. "Another five minutes of this, I might remember that I have Britta's e-mail address on my phone! I wonder what I could talk to her about to make us less bored…."

Oh God, he was already pulling the Britta card! The minute she found this out, everyone else would know within seconds! Whereas if he took just one picture with the Dean, he might have a few extra minutes as Greendale's hottest man alive ….

"Dean?" No, it couldn't be. "What are you doing here? Jeff is still very, _very _sick, you can't disturb him!" It was….wait, why was Annie back now anyway?

"You can drop it Annie, I know all about sexy werewolf Jeff. I just want one glimpse and maybe 1,000 pictures of him, and I'll be on my way." The Dean then called out to Jeff's door, "See, I went down from 10 billion to 1,000 for you! But before you get any ideas, 100 is as low as I'm willing to go!"

"You can't have _any_!" Jeff heard Annie screech. "Jeff doesn't want _any _proof that he's….sick! If you….like him, you'll respect his wishes and not have any proof at all…." Jeff looked through the peep hole and saw that as Annie trailed off, she was looking at her own phone. It looked like she was having second thoughts about her own proof of beast Jeff – but unfortunately, she had them right within range of the Dean.

"You have a photo! I want it, I want it, I want it!" the Dean cried out and tried to reach for the phone. He got a grip on it before Annie put it in her pocket, then started wrestling her hand for control. Jeff had no choice but to stay in place, since helping Annie would expose him. But Annie was an adult, so she didn't need a beast to save her….right?

"Annie, gimmie! Gimmie or I'll have you expelled!"

In that split second, Annie immediately let go of the phone. A split second later, she realized what she did and almost broke down from betraying Jeff's trust – and partly from that terrible threat. Another split second later, the Dean realized just how dirty his trick was. "I'm, I'm sorry, Annie…..I didn't mean to….I mean, you know I would _never_…."

But Jeff didn't.

As such, he flung the door open with a growl and a monstrous rage at the Dean. Pelton screamed in fear at how angry he looked in that makeup – then gave a more appreciative hum when he fully checked Jeff out. He then went back and forth between screaming in fear and checking him out – while all the while giving Annie her phone back and pulling out his own.

Jeff just stayed in place with his frightening stare, staying perfectly still even as Dean Pelton took his picture of him. He then picked up his prop rifle and stood next to Jeff, taking a picture of the both of them together. When it came out perfectly, Jeff finally growled, "Get….out."

Having got what he came for, Dean Pelton followed Jeff's order after one last fearful/aroused shudder. When he was gone, Annie turned her face and shock back towards Jeff, who just went back into the apartment without shutting the door. Annie then rushed back in and caught up to Jeff as he slumped onto the couch.

"Jeff? Jeff, why did you let him do it? Oh, what does it matter, I'm sorry I gave him the chance in the first place! I should have…." Annie caught herself before she said she should have let the Dean expel her. Jeff meant a lot to her, but not that much….at least she didn't _think _so.

"You came back…." Jeff actually said in response. "Uh, um, of course I did," Annie answered after being thrown off. "I made sure my scenes were filmed first thing in the morning, just so I could get here! But that's good, it means we still have time to get those photos before Monday!"

"Maybe….it's better this way," Jeff let out. "What? No, no, he's going to let them go public somehow and you'll be mocked! I might think it's nothing to be afraid of, but _you _do and….and I don't want you to be afraid! But we're together now and we can still stop him!"

"At least….beast me got to see you….one more time," Jeff conceded. That snapped Annie into action, as she took his face into her hands and directly touched his facial hair. "Stop it, you are not a beast! You exposed yourself when you thought he'd expel me, and that was all Jeff! All wonderful, heroic, handsome Jeff…."

Annie trailed off and finally did what she wanted to do last night – kiss him in his full 'beast' makeup. But when reality hit her, she pulled back and tried to clarify herself. "Okay, okay, okay…..you probably think I did that out of pity. Or to make a point or do some leftover Jeff fantasy. But I-"

Jeff didn't let her get close to finishing – he just leaned up and kissed her ferociously. Annie then threw out her speech and went back to kissing him, touching every part of Jeff's face that she could. She also barely kept from giggling when his hair rubbed against her face, but she recovered enough to start kissing the rest of his face. Although she was really kissing makeup instead of Jeff's actual skin, she didn't mind a bit.

Annie even tugged a bit on Jeff's facial hair as she moved down to his neck – then stopped when Jeff groaned. And it wasn't _just _because of his excitement – but because tugging his hair had actually pulled it off a bit. With that, Annie pulled back in wonder and Jeff just looked overwhelmed, now that the makeup was finally ready to come off.

Jeff rushed into the bathroom to get to work, as Annie chose to stay on the couch and recover. In between Jeff's screaming as he got it all off – since it had been stuck tight on his face and real hair for over _a week_ – Annie tried to think again. Yet she was getting nowhere, although she had time as Jeff very slowly took everything off his face. After that, he had to wash it very thoroughly.

When Annie finally heard Jeff turn off the sink, she headed to the bathroom to see the results. She stood outside for a moment more, noticing all the goop, hair and wigs in the trash can. Jeff's face was still hidden by a towel as he dried himself – then slowly took it off to reveal the original face that Annie….became attached to. It even looked like only a little bit of real hair had been ripped off when he removed the wig.

"Annie…it's me," Jeff exclaimed in awe, going back and forth between looking at her and the mirror. "Yeah, it is," Annie declared, although some fake glee was mixed in between the genuine kind. Now that he looked normal, he would probably go back to normal in other ways – like explaining their kisses as a mistake that was all in her head.

"It's me…." Jeff repeated before focusing entirely on Annie again. "You're the only one that knows who me is…." Before Annie asked for clarity, or at least for better grammar, Jeff cut her off by going back in for another kiss.

That answer was enough to let Annie make out with him a little more, and touch his bare, still hot face some more too. When they pulled away, Annie wanted to ask in words what this meant for them, what this meant for the group and what this meant if/when the Dean lost those werewolf photos. But instead, all she said was, "I'm actually glad I kissed you when you were in makeup first. If I didn't kiss you until you got 'normal' again, it'd look pretty shallow and hypocritical after all this."

"Don't worry, you're no Jeff Winger yet, no matter how much I've rubbed off on you," Jeff teased. Annie wished she had makeup and masks herself to hide her blush, so she settled for burying her face in his arm. After she got composed again, she looked up to see Jeff's special gaze and smile for her – which remained scorching no matter what was around it – and it answered most of her other questions.

Annie decided to reward him by revealing, "You know, Troy and Abed gave me a pretty good wardrobe today. And I got some pretty good pictures out of it, too." She stepped away from Jeff and pulled out her phone again – then stood back and let Jeff gape when he saw the photos of her in a gold dress.

"Okay, after the group finds out about us and my makeup, you have _got _to wear that here for a week! I mean, you'll owe me pretty big again by then!" Jeff pointed out.

"I'm sure I will," Annie admitted happily – since being in debt to a beastly Jeff had worked out so far.


	4. Little Red Riding Hood

**Red Riding Hood**

Annie was almost in the clear before Troy and Abed caught up to her in the halls. She thought nothing of it until they explained how they needed _her _to return their movie.

Over the weekend, Trobed had rented "Red Riding Hood" from the nearby video store, as part of their "Bad movie that isn't historically bad enough to buy" movie night. Since Annie loved the _real _Red Riding Hood story, she didn't have that much fun sitting through the bastardization, even if it did become a Twilight ripoff. But they were supposed to return it today – although according to Troy, their afternoon was now completely booked due to a new game idea.

"It came to us like an awesome troll murderer! You _have _to see why we have to act this out _today, _right?" Troy declared. Annie had no idea what they were talking about – it seemed to involve hamster walks, Pierce's dad's wig, Kickpuncher's third cousin and a blorgon intervention. Annie's Trobed-to-English dictionary was getting better, yet she couldn't begin to figure this out – but she did know one thing.

"Guys, I can't return the movie for you while you do….all that!" Annie started after they offered her the DVD. "I'm leaving here at 4 and coming _right _home to study for my test tomorrow! With everything I have to study, I can't push back my schedule! Even for a video store trip!"

"Okay. I guess our video store card will be canceled tonight, then," Abed stated. Annie asked, "What's that mean?" before she could be drowned out by Troy's sad moans. Abed replied, "We've amassed so many late fees at this store, one more and they'll rescind our card. Then we'll have to pay more to rent them, or start getting our DVDs from Netflix and wait longer for them. It throws off our whole careful schedule, really."

"Oh come on, it's a video store! They can't afford to lose what little customers they have left, right?" Annie nitpicked. "With our history of late fees, you'd be surprised," Abed responded.

"And none of our very plausible and awesome excuses worked on them!" Troy lamented. "I know that old lady manager is from the dark timeline, I just can't find any evidence in the Dreamatorium lab! She's got to have old lady ninjas working on the inside, I just don't know how many!"

Annie tried to voice her objections before she got too confused to function. "You couldn't just return movies on time? Or put off your big game to return this one? Or just get movies from Netflix?" But Annie knew that logic and reason wouldn't work here, so she had absolutely nothing left to get out of this. "Fine! I'll return this on my way home, as long as I get back by 5! That's as far as I can push my studying, guys!"

"Thanks, you're the best," Abed voiced, and Annie was pretty convinced that she had to be. But before he and Troy left, Abed took out one more item – Annie's Little Red Riding Hood cloak from that otherwise _very _forgettable Halloween party in 2010. "Turns out we don't need this for our deleted scene after all, so you can have it back."

"What? I didn't know I didn't have it….do you mind explaining that?" But Troy and Abed were already gone, so Annie sighed and stuffed the cloak and DVD in her already stuffed backpack. By the time she was ready to carry it to lunch, Dean Pelton caught up to her with a "Deany meeny miney moe, Annie!"

Annie began to wonder if she'd _ever _eat lunch, but put on a smile for the Dean anyway. "I understand you have a movie about a certain hooded mistress in red," the Dean recapped, as Annie tried to ignore how dirty that could sound. "I would like to borrow it for tonight, please."

"Oh! Um, well, I can't, really," Annie started to explain. "I have to return it by 5, and its _really _important that this goes back tonight. You might get too distracted to do that, and I have enough to worry about. So…no thank you?" Annie tried to let down gently. "You can just rent it tomorrow, though."

"Yeah, that won't work, I need a distraction _tonight_. I'm starting chapter three of 'Dean Dangerous' for the 15'th time, and my old procrastination movies aren't working anymore. But a good bad flick from 'Bad movie that isn't historically bad enough to buy' night should fix that," the Dean theorized.

"How did you even know about….no, no, I can't risk it! Just procrastinate and rent it from the store tomorrow, okay?" Annie offered before making her escape.

"I, you….ooh, once the time wolf gets some lines, he'll have a real blisterer for you, mister! Ooh, that'll make a great catch phrase….but I can save it for the 12'th edit of chapter 12," the Dean delayed.

Annie had better luck sticking to her schedule the rest of the day. She was on track to go right to her car, drive to the video store and then get right home as planned – yet Jeff then showed up for a last minute delay. "Annie, do you have a minute?" Jeff checked.

"Um, not really, Jeff. I'm really sorry, but I have to return a DVD and study, can you call later?" Annie inquired. Instead of heading away like Annie predicted, Jeff blindsided her and answered, "No, that's all right, I can come with you."

"What? Jeff, why would you want to see me drop off a DVD?" Annie questioned. However, she put that aside when she got outside and felt a big chill. "Oh! Where did this wind come from?" Annie asked, although even if Jeff had an answer, the wind and her shivers were too loud to hear him.

She didn't even have a coat to keep her warm – since she didn't think she'd have to bring one. So after a few more chilly steps, she resorted to going into her backpack and putting her Red Riding Hood cloak on. It made her a little warmer – at least enough to not feel _that _embarrassed over wearing this after Halloween. Still, she warned Jeff, "If you're r-really tagging along, not a w-word, okay?"

"My, what a big mouth you think I have," Jeff quipped in spite of the wind. Unfortunately, Annie had to hold onto her cloak and couldn't slap him on the shoulder. "Well, I'm driving there and then g-going right home, so you'll have to follow me."

"Or I could tag along in your car, then take a cab back to get my Lexus. If it's scratched or stolen, I can lord it over you very….thoroughly. That'll get me through the first few weeks of taking a bus." Annie kept her cool over Jeff saying "thoroughly" like that – although it made her wonder how he could casually joke over losing his precious Lexus. But since he wasn't driving it, he would actually be in her car for the first time.

Annie tried to focus more on keeping warm for the rest of the walk. Yet of course, she didn't actually get warm until she got in her car and turned on the heat. Still, she kept her cloak on anyway and just worked on reaching the video store as quick as possible. Nevertheless, not being thrown off by Jeff's presence was somewhat difficult.

Annie reminded herself she had more important things to do than decrypt Jeff for once. So she put up with it, let herself banter with him a few times, and got to the video store with no holdups. Fortunately, she still had more than enough time to return the movie, head home and study right on schedule.

With that extra confidence, Annie parked the car and took the "Red Riding Hood" DVD out with her while wearing her costume. She fought through the still strong wind and Jeff tried to keep up – however, he caught up once Annie froze figuratively in front of the store.

Namely because Dean Pelton was standing there in an old lady wig, while wearing comically large old lady glasses and an old dress.

"Ah, there's my DVD right on time!" the Dean called out in what he thought was an old lady voice. "Since I'm the old lady owner, you can put it in my arthritic hands and I'll bring it inside! You can drive away after that, since you young people are so busy and all! What with your novels and Jetflixes and way too liberal time travel rules!"

"You don't know what the words 'rock' or 'bottom' mean at all, do you?" Jeff rhetorically asked. Annie really didn't have time for this, so she tried to cut to the chase. "_You're _the owner of this place? _You're _Mrs. Hardwicke?"

"That's me, danger danger and all that jazz!" Dean Pelton croaked out. "Hmm….well I have to say, what big hair you have. Much bigger than when I last came here," Annie nitpicked.

"The better to keep my head warm in this freezing cold, my dear. I hate it as much as I loved Ike!" Okay, the Dean got her there, but he got lucky. Annie continued with, "Then what big glasses you have….way bigger than the ones I usually see you in."

"The better to see my terrible, time killing movies, my dear. Speaking of which…." Dean Pelton tried to reach for the DVD, but Annie took his hand instead. "And what….kind of big hands you have. They're not even wrinkled like 75-year-old hands," she noticed.

"Well, _you _try finding fake liver spots on such short notice!" the Dean protested in his normal voice. "Ah ha, it _is _you, Dean Pelton!" Annie declared as if she didn't already know.

"No. Way," Jeff sarcastically reacted. "If that's true, it's the most random crap in the history of random crap. Even _you _have better standards for wasting our time than this."

"I know, I know!" the Dean admitted. "It's just….Trobed gave this their bad movie seal of approval!" he reminded while pointing to "Red Riding Hood." "It gets so depressing when you can't write time travel right for the 24'th time! I just needed a rotten movie to convince me I could write _something_ better than Hollywood people! And if it was one that _they _watched….it'd make me feel closer to you guys! It'd make me feel too connected to cool people to be a failure!"

Of course, Jeff merely rolled his eyes while Annie gave more googly sad eyes at the Dean's emotions. But Annie was still in a hurry, so she held back her tears – especially in this wind – and tried to think of actual solutions. To her credit, it didn't take her long to think up a doozy.

"How about this, Dean? I remember every _other _bad movie Troy and Abed watched ironically. I can pick one of those out for you, but _only _if you don't make me take too long! And I'll charge it to Troy and Abed's video store card….trust me, they owe me too big today to mind. And in the future, if they select bad movies I don't want to waste my time on, I'll call you and you can watch in my place! You'll get to trash worse projects than "Dean Dangerous" and hang out with us, Troy and Abed will still have a third wheel, and I can get more actual work done! It's perfect for all of us!" Annie exclaimed.

"Really? You'd do that for me?" the Dean double checked. "Of course I would!" Annie assured. "Of course you would," Jeff said more sarcastically…..although not nearly as much as usual. But Annie didn't take notice, as she got the Dean's wig and glasses off before she took him inside and got out of the cold.

It took her a minute to find past Troy and Abed bad movie favorites "Kickpuncher 6: Kick-munity" and "All About Steve." Yet after Dean Pelton voiced a far too long defense of Sandra Bullock's non "Lake House" movies, Annie chose "Kickpuncher 6" for him and then had to buy him licorice to calm him down. Yet she did return "Red Riding Hood" and get the Dean off her back in a timely manner, then left with Jeff to drive right home.

"You know, now that you got him to spend more time with Troy and Abed, he'll have less time to stalk me," Jeff said, clearly impressed. "Well, as long as he isn't _that _much noisier than Troy and Abed, that's a price we'll both have to pay," Annie stated as she parked in front of the apartment complex.

"I guess so. Heh, what big brains you have," Jeff joked. "The better to survive nonsense and help….special people like the Dean, I guess," Annie offered.

"That reminds me what a big heart you have," Jeff noted. Now it was getting harder for Annie to avoid Jeff's strange….kind of sweet behavior today. "Well….the better to care for people as lonely as I used to be. Even if they have a much better wardrobe than I did," Annie tried to joke with a smile.

"Yeah….and oh look, what a big smile you have," Jeff kept going. "Uh….the better to be happy with? Jeff, where are you going with this?" Annie wondered.

"I wanted to talk to you because…..there are things I finally got tired of not saying to you. I've already hinted at a few of them, so….if you'll let me get to the rest?" Annie barely remembered to check her car clock and see if she had time to hear the rest. But even if she didn't have a few minutes left, it might not have mattered that much. "Okay….." Annie confirmed while trying not to shiver – although she might have been too warm with that cloak still on.

"As I was saying, what big eyes you have," Jeff continued. "The better to annoy me, tease me, haunt me and make me think and do….things that get a little less lame every day. Like tag along with Red Riding Hood to an outdated DVD store, just so I don't lose my fragile nerve to talk to her. But after seeing you handle that time wolf in lamer than usual Dean clothing….it's not so fragile anymore. It really shouldn't be fragile around you anymore….what with the big brain, big heart, big smile, big eyes and kind of big lips you have."

The big eyes certainly got wider as the big smile struggled to contain itself, and the big brain tried to keep the big heart from exploding. Her kind of big lips got out, "You know….Red Riding Hood never kissed anyone in the real story. But she kissed people in the movie and that didn't work out at all…."

"Well, I hated Twilight too much to rip it off, and I like big eyed brunette Riding Hoods better than big eyed blonde ones, so…." Jeff reminded, which made Annie chuckle in spite of it all. "They're all the better to….apologize to for leading on….and hopefully kiss at the end anyway…."

But Annie was too eager and on too tight of a schedule to hear full apologies now. As such, she settled for just kissing Jeff, acting out the fleeting fantasy she had before Halloween 2010. As Jeff got into kissing Red Riding Hood, she peeked at the car radio and saw it was almost 5 p.m.

Maybe studying at 5:05 or 5:10 wouldn't be _so _bad. After all, she earned _something _for her successful mission to Grandma's DVD house. Five minutes of kissing and five more to talk and start defining their relationship should be enough to fit in. Especially with what a _big _mouth Jeff had….


	5. The Little Mermaid

**Thank you for reading so far as we now head to the end. For the record, I swear that I wrote this way before "Pillows and Blankets" aired, and before seeing Jeff so affected by Annie's silent treatment in that episode. The treatment here was more influenced by a plot line in "The Little Mermaid" instead – and as such, "Pillows and Blankets" and that silent treatment won't be referenced to in this grand finale.**

**The Little Mermaid**

Annie headed to rehearsal in less than a perfect mood, since Jeff once again refused to see that this wasn't another Glee, or even another Greendale ad.

It started when Dean Pelton asked the group to take part in a school play he was directing – but couldn't write or make _any _changes to the script. It would be an undersea adventure production – and even though Greendale wasn't legally allowed to use water tanks or above ground pools anymore, it was still fun to Annie. There would be animal sidekicks, sea witches, a prince, forbidden love – and of course, the requisite plucky mermaid.

Naturally, Annie immediately took the lead role of the mermaid while Abed and Troy jumped at doing everything else they could – while officially being the animal sidekicks. But everyone else refused to take part and get brainwashed into another school show, a la Glee – especially if the Dean was back in the director's chair.

Jeff would tear it apart "Mystery Science Theater 3000" style on Opening Night, but that was the only association he wanted with the play. Even Annie's begging and Disney faces weren't working, as he said the horrors of Glee were his long awaited immunity to Disney tears. And by horrors of Glee….Annie didn't want to think about what else it could encompass. So she stormed off to rehearsal before she did something like say it.

Even dressing up in her redhead wig, shell bikini and blue fin didn't cheer Annie up today. She wished that more people would be involved because she wanted this to be _better _than Glee. There wasn't any singing, the Dean hadn't murdered an entire bus or gone insane _quite _yet, and no one had been visibly brainwashed more than usual.

Despite the bad name Glee gave it, Annie knew that performing was still fun – one of the many things you had to learn/conform to as Troy and Abed's roommate. Unlike Glee and the anti-drug play insanity, Annie had hoped that this would be just a regular fun time with friends. But Jeff refused to come on board….oh, and so did Britta, Pierce and Shirley too. He hadn't even come by to see rehearsal….although she didn't know if her attire would make Jeff more or less eager to take part.

Annie wanted to believe that Jeff just hated performing….not performing with _her._ She wanted to believe that the memories of sexy brainwashed Santa hadn't scared Jeff off from acting with her again. She wanted to hope that the rumors of a mermaid-prince kiss in the script weren't the final straw to make Jeff back away. However, the more she thought about those theories, the more she couldn't stop thinking of them.

Even the Dean took notice of her less than mermaid-ey mood. So he came up to her after rehearsal – at least as best he could. In addition to directing, he landed a supporting role in return for not writing the script – as a sea witch with a purple inflatable fat suit and fake tentacles. Nonetheless, he had only tripped and rolled on the ground three times today, as opposed to 10 on day one. As such, he was well balanced enough to carry a conversation with Annie – and listen to her rambling.

"I mean, I'm not _trying _to manipulate him, and it's not because I _might _get a prince kiss if the writer leaves it in! I just think it would be fun to perform together and get the dark cloud of Glee off us! But he just wants to stay in the rain, or some other cloud metaphor!" Annie sulked.

"Jeffrey can be a gloomy Gerty like that," the Dean conceded. "But you are right, we need him to make the 'writer's shlock sound human. Not, not that you aren't hiding it well enough yourself, of course!" he corrected. Annie just shrugged it off and stayed upset about the Jeff thing, then the Dean suddenly lit up. "Wait a minute….it might just be time!"

"Time for what?" Annie wondered. "Annie, have you heard of something called the 'silent treatment'?" Dean Pelton carefully pronounced. "It's this new thing I heard of where if you're upset with someone….special, you just ignore them! You don't talk to them or acknowledge they exist, and then they're supposed to crawl back to you themselves! I know, the _idea _of ignoring Jeffrey seems like an plan from Satan, or that vile Cruella de Vil! But this isn't about Glenn Close's silly 5,000 yard restraining order, its about shutting Jeffrey out until he gives in!"

"By not talking to him?" Annie asked to confirm. "Exactly! Just take away your voice, and he'll do the play just to make you talk to him again."

"But without my voice, how can I-" Annie started before the Dean jumped back in. "Oh, you'll have your looks! Your formidable face! And don't underestimate the importance of…." However, the Dean just seemed to be trying and failing to swing his hips. "Ugh, I knew this costume was too hippy! I should have been one of those long, stiff and hard eels when I had the chance!"

"Dean!" Anne called out of disgust and to get the conversation back on track. "Oh, right, right! Like I said, ignore him and he'll go crazy enough to sign on board! If you do, I might even talk the writer into putting in a _real _mermaid-prince kiss scene. Granted, he still couldn't write_ one_ chapter of a time travel noir, where I have a good one and one-fourth on my resume! But he's got to start _somewhere, _I guess."

Annie tuned in and out after hearing the words prince and kiss. When she tuned back in, she voiced, "All right, the silent treatment it is! Thanks, Dean! Oh, oh wait, I mean…." She then mouthed the words "Thanks, Dean" to start getting into her new routine. But Annie eventually understood she only had to stop talking to _Jeff_.

She started off the next day, as she had her normal conversations with everyone else, but didn't respond to anything Jeff said. Even when Jeff noticed and addressed her, she didn't respond with words. She either nodded or shook her head on yes or no questions, or ate or buried herself in a book to avoid answering him. Jeff tried to shake it off on the first day, yet after she kept it up on the second, he finally cornered her at her locker.

"Annie, what's this all about? Why aren't you cooing or yelling at me, or making your other Jeff-related sounds? Or _any _sounds at me?" Annie just shrugged and passed for looking nonchalant. "Is this some Annie version of the silent treatment?" Although Jeff guessed the right words, Annie still made herself stay quiet. "God, you're _really _doing this because I won't act in some dumb mermaid play?" Annie made herself shrug again and head down the halls without a word.

"Annie, acting creates nightmares like drug Pierce, Glee club, singing and _Britta _saving the day through song! Are you _that _self-centered to put me through another nightmare like that?" Jeff checked.

This would be the perfect time for a big angry speech from Annie. She would say that she wasn't being self-centered, and that she was only thinking of _him_ having fun and erasing those bad memories. She would say that acting couldn't be the _only _reason he wanted to avoid this play – and that director Pelton and the admittedly iffy writing couldn't be backup excuses. She would say that he was scared off by the possibility of Annie kissing a prince actor – or heaven forbid, the possibility of _Jeff _kissing her. She would say that he was so scared of Annie going all sexy Santa on him because of another show – and scared of Annie in general even after all this time.

Instead, Annie just tried to convey all that with a scowl and one of her penetrating Jeff glares. Jeff seemed taken aback a bit – or at least wasn't talking – so maybe he could see through her without words after all. If so, this was the right time to leave in a huff and let him think about a few things.

Later that afternoon, Annie jumped right into rehearsal now that she could talk for a while. Troy and Abed were naturally in complete character, as the blues playing lobster and jellyfish. The non-Jeff actor playing the prince was appealing, if not more cardboard handsome than Annie would have liked. Even Dean Pelton was directing himself to a….better than nails on a chalkboard performance as the sea witch.

And although Annie had to be swung around on wires to convey swimming under the sea, she wasn't dizzy enough to throw up. She was feeling pretty good when they finally got done and the 'prince' helped Annie down once she was unhooked.

"Saw that coming," Annie heard Abed say – and when she saw Jeff near the stage, seeing her being held by another man while wearing a shell bikini and a mermaid tail, she had to admit she did too.

"What the hell…..Dean, I'm not surprised _you're _directing porn in Greendale, but like _this_? And with…." Annie was both flushed at Jeff seeing her like this and angry that he was so angry/ashamed of it – but she still remembered to stay quiet. "Annie, do you have anything to say for yourself _now_?"

Annie then realized that with Jeff this….unbalanced, she could have fun with this. She glared at him as if to telepathically ask, "What, jealous?" "Damnit, don't give me the 'I'm jealous' look, all right?" Wow, that was….interesting. But Annie stayed focused and kept glaring pointedly, challenging him to explain what else this was about. "If you _have _to be in this, shouldn't it be more….constricting?" was all he had to ask.

Seeing Jeff on the ropes, Annie glared in a way that she hoped said, "I thought you didn't care about the play." "This isn't because I _care_, I mean, what do you take me for?" Jeff insisted. "You just should….I mean, you need better supervision than….not that I _care_! Damnit, will you just talk to me so I know what to say?" But Annie didn't bail him out one bit.

"Jeffrey, this is a closed set for actors and creatives only," Dean Pelton chimed in. "Since you're none of the above for this particular show…."

"Come on, you…." Jeff kept glaring back and forth between Annie and the Dean, and at the prince actor, before finally growling out, "Fine, I'm in! Put me under the sea, it's better where its wetter, I'll take it from you already! Happy now?" Annie nodded with a big smile, which was only barely bigger than the Dean's, believe it or not. "Good, _now _can you say it in words?"

Annie almost did just that, until she recalled the other advice the Dean gave her. Therefore, she still stayed quiet as he did the talking. "Sorry Jeffrey, I don't think she can. You have too much to talk about now, and that can throw you off before a big show. So she'll talk to you and straighten your mess out _after _you do opening night."

"What? You told _him _that?" Jeff incredulously asked, but Annie only nodded with a smaller smile. "Yes, well, I'm the director, she can't afford to give _me _the silent treatment. But you're the new prince, and if there's weird stuff between you, you can't argue or you'll bring down the whole production! So you will not rehearse together here or anywhere else, and you won't hear her talking to you again until show time!" Dean Pelton announced with a cocky smile. "Let's see you twist _that _into me going insane again, _Abed_!"

"It's okay, documentary trilogies never end better than regular ones. Plus the blues number in act IV was too time consuming anyway," Abed assured.

"As opposed to Annie _still_ having no time to talk to me?" Jeff directed at Annie. She stayed quiet anyway as the Dean translated, "Jeffrey, it's not about having time, it's about putting on the best show! We can't do that without you, and you need some….incentive to be at your best! Come on, don't doom the show and Annie to hang on this strapping guy with great lips!" the Dean scoffed while pointing at the fired prince.

"You're going to replace me with some network-TV handsome guy?" the actor questioned. With that, Jeff groaned and answered, "Looks that way, doesn't it?"

"Great! Just sign this spoiler confidentiality waiver and we're all set!" Dean Pelton got out a pen and a waiver, and Jeff quickly relented into signing it. "I can't believe I'm going through this so you _won't _shut up, Annie! I'll probably want you quiet for an extra few days after this, anyway!" Nevertheless, Annie kept quiet and blank as Jeff got his script and Troy played his predecessor off the stage with some scat.

Now that Jeff was officially on board, Annie found herself happy again. She figured he'd relent after he started rehearsing, even if he couldn't do it with her. But after the fun parts started and they actually performed together, she knew Jeff would secretly enjoy it like always. And although there was no finale kiss in the script, Dean Pelton promised her he'd get it in there right before show time – before Jeff could protest or back away.

Finally it was the night of the show, as Annie was in full on happy mermaid mode. If all went well, this would be the fun show that erased all the other rotten ones, and be so much more! She'd actually act in big scenes with Jeff, and be romanced by him, and even _kiss _him….and if she did it well enough, he might _admit _he wanted to do it off stage too! Oh, all the silent treatments and scheming and blackmail and….lack of time together until now would be _so _worth it for that!

Just as that started to make her feel….odd, she then saw Jeff arrive backstage. She allowed herself a second to gape at his prince costume – but it was only a second, due to the sour look on his face. Normally his sour looks before doing anything were an act by now….but this was more convincing than usual. In fact, when Jeff turned to see Annie in her full mermaid costume, he didn't even ogle her or pretend not to. He just stayed silent and went off – the irony of which was difficult to ignore, as much as Annie tried.

But it would be okay once they got into character and acted happy and in love…..emphasis on _acting_.

Was this one of those moments where Annie realized her errors when it was too late? Like with getting Chang fired, or spending her whole summer obsessing over Jeff, or her methods of seduction in Glee? Maybe it was progress that she saw her mistakes here before they got _that_ bad ….although it would be too late once the show started.

Too late when Jeff started performing something he didn't want to do, no matter _why _that was – as if any reason was good enough for Annie. Oh God, that made her sound like such a GDB, didn't it?

"All right, Dean a leg!" Dean Pelton called out backstage, waddling over in his plump sea witch suit. "Let's get our big mermaid star on those wires and towards her prince!"

"No, no, don't do that!" Annie yelled in a flash, before realizing just how she had to follow that up. "Dean, I….I can't do it. Not like this."

"Look, I know the blue fin is cliché, but I spent too many sleepless nights looking for turquoise! At some point you have to give up the dream, Annie!" the Dean failed to understand.

"But I got the dream the wrong way!" Annie assessed. "I wanted me and Jeff to have fun acting this time….but acting's all it is. He'll just _pretend _to have fun being around me….and I gave him no reason to have it for real. I manipulated him, used _whatever_ feelings he has for me against him, and I kept him at arm's length….almost like he did to me. And I wanted this show to make up for seducing him into Glee the creepy way – but this was worse! Or….or it will be if I actually do this."

"What exactly are you getting at, Annie?" Dean Pelton inquired.

"Like I said way back at the beginning….I'm not going out there," Annie promised. "I don't want to kiss him or have fun with him based on a bunch of lies and tricks. If I want Jeff to realize he's better than that too….I have to set the example while I still can."

"Oh….well, I guess that's it, then. You're really leaving us," the Dean recognized as Annie nodded. But instead of looking disappointed or sad – he actually put on a smile. "Finally, it was getting _way _too hot in here! Somebody unzip me, please!" Once someone followed his orders, the Dean stepped out of his fat suit to reveal that he was wearing a shell bikini just like Annie's – then he ripped off his wig to reveal another redheaded wig below. "All right, I just need the fin and you can go," Pelton promised as Annie's jaw dropped.

"What, what the _hell_? Did you have that on underneath the whole time? Why would you be _that _ready to take my place?" Unfortunately for Annie, she started to put together the answer on her own. "You….you _planned _this…._all_ of this all along! You used me to get Jeff on board, just so _you _could replace me and act with him! You even knew I'd feel guilty and quit…..wait, _how _did you manipulate me into that, exactly?"

"Yeah, that was a pretty big gambit on my part. But I knew your morals and integrity would make you cave without me. Just as well, because I did _not _go into this thing with an exit strategy! Still, not planning ahead for failure finally worked after all!" the Dean cheered.

"You, you…." A furious Annie barely remembered not to curse out an authority figure – even a barely qualified, suddenly evil one. "Well, it doesn't matter! I'm talking to Jeff again and getting us both out of here!"

"Right, well that's half right. You can go because your confidentiality waver didn't have a special secret clause in it…..one where you have to do the whole show or you _lose _a credit. A credit that could make the difference between graduating on time or spending one more precious semester with us at Greendale. Too bad Jeffrey signed that kind of waver, though….you'd think as a lawyer, he'd have read it more closely. But I guess a certain leading lady made him too riled up to notice it," the Dean reminded Annie.

"You….but I….and him …." Annie tried to argue. "You did all that just so you could be a mermaid and kiss Jeff?"

"For your information, my hack replacement wrote the kissing out days ago, so there!" Pelton said. It was an ambiguous answer to the actual question – but it did tell Annie that she wouldn't have even kissed Jeff if she stayed on. Leaving aside how she was too moronic to deserve kissing him, it was the last straw.

"Nevertheless, at least I'll have memories to last a lifetime with Jeffrey tonight. The waiver's so iron clad even he can't wiggle out of it, see?" Dean Pelton took out the waiver from his boxer shorts, and Annie grabbed it to look it over.

She only barely knew legal stuff, yet she desperately tried to find _something_….and then miraculously found an opening. But it would only work if….

"You know what, Dean? You've beaten me…..there's no point in telling Jeff or getting him out of this. So I might as well go out there, play the part and enjoy being with Jeff no matter _how _I did it!" Annie vowed.

"What? This whole thing hinged on you feeling too guilty! You, you can't go out there _now _and hold up against him! I can barely live with lying to him, _you _can't at all!" Dean Pelton reminded her.

"Well, if I can't, you'll get to replace me after all. It'll just take a little longer to do it," Annie rationalized. "Annie, you'll just bring everyone down when you can't go on living the lie! Then how am I supposed to save the show _and _make Jeffrey light up beside me? " the Dean wanted to know. "You got to be an evil genius once, so I'm sure you can do it again. Until then, tell them to hook me up, please," Annie requested.

Dean Pelton ultimately lamented and started zipping up his fat suit again. "Just don't get a single scratch on his precious head before I get to touch it, okay?" he ordered as he hopped away and Annie tried to fine tune her desperate plan.

Minutes later, the curtain finally went up and Annie was lifted off the ground to perform the opening scene. But she had no intention of performing it. Not after she caught up with Troy and Abed once the Dean left, and begged them to go off script and be so….Troy and Abed-y that it would destroy the show. Fortunately, they immediately said "Okay" and "Cool, cool, cool" although Annie had no idea how they'd follow through.

But as she hoped, Troy and Abed came out in full costume before she started her scene. Even with little time to prepare and no knowledge of why Annie wanted them to ruin the show, they still performed a rather….detailed reimagining of their characters as Inspector Spacetime blorgons. It was certainly vintage Troy and Abed, in that they were too….themselves to explain and make sense out of.

Dean Pelton stood no chance as he tried to get them off stage. But they were too fast for him, and the Dean couldn't run that far now that he was back in his fat suit. Annie just hung in the air and tried to look shocked and appalled, although this was going according to plan. Yet she didn't look around for Jeff, as her guilt that it had to get this far was still too strong.

Finally Troy and Abed wound up destroying most of the set – and one piece of debris was able to pop through the Dean's costume. It deflated and left him desperate to unzip himself, yet he wound up falling and rolling off the stage until the costume wasn't inflated enough anymore. He then just tore himself out and emerged in his mermaid shell bikini – then gasped and tried to cover himself once everyone noticed it.

"No, you weren't supposed to see me like this yet! Jeffrey was supposed to see it first, right up there on…" He trailed off as he saw what little remained of the set. "Oh God, it's all ruined! There's no way we can make it special after _this_!" the Dean admitted. "All right, that's it, show's canceled! The blorgons won, so evacuate the school or bow to them, or something else that doesn't include looking at me!"

Annie bit back a triumphant smile since she was still in public and not everyone had left yet. But when she was finally unhooked by Troy and Abed and she got off her mermaid fin – and finally changed back into human clothes – she smiled anew as she went to finish crushing the Dean. To her relief, he had also changed back to his normal clothes by the time she found him.

"Don't you worry one bit, Annie. Once I fire them and have a much better show ready tomorrow, you can break down and give me your part then," Dean Pelton promised.

"I might….but you won't get to act with Jeff anyway. You can't now. Your contract said Jeff had to be involved with tonight's show. And technically, he was, even though _you _canceled it before his scenes! There's nothing in that contract that says he has to perform _another _show after tonight!" Annie illuminated.

"No, there is, it's in…." the Dean trailed off as he looked over the contract and couldn't find anything.

"Jeff performed his part of the deal tonight, and that's_ all_ he had to do. Now he has no legal obligation to be here for _any _more shows! At least not under that contract! If you force him anyway, I'm sure Jeff can tie it up long enough to _not _perform with you, keep his credit, graduate and get away from you right on time," Annie rubbed in. "Once I tell him about how we forced him to be here – and I _will_ – that's exactly what he'll do!"

"But you, he…..oh, it's just not fair! You ruined my redemption!" Well, that's wasn't the hysterical line Annie expected from the Dean. So she tempered her gloating and let him try to excuse himself after all.

"This was supposed to erase my failure for the commercial. I wanted to do at least _one _production where I didn't go crazy and destroy the school! I wanted it to be special, and it was going to be _really _special by acting with Jeffrey! But of course he didn't want to do it, and then _you _took my mermaid part while I was mourning…..so I figured it'd be easier to just use you to get him on board. And I _still _failed…_!_" the Dean lamented. "I tried to do a better play and do it with my favorite person, but instead I got way too evil for nothing!"

Even after all that the Dean put her and Jeff through, this _still _made Annie feel a little sorry for him. "I guess you're not that different from me, then. _I _wanted to make myself look better than I did in Glee, and have fun performing with Jeff without being creepy. But of course he didn't want to do it and I jumped to crazy conclusions….so I figured it'd be easier to follow your silent treatment advice and trick him. And it was _still _a disaster….so I was way out of character for nothing too," Annie lamented.

"Not as bad as me. I mean, I turned into another _Chang _over this thing! Chang! How big of a wake-up call is _that_?" Dean Pelton reflected. "Even I usually have limits to my 'creepy' 'stalker' pursuit of Jeffrey as my first real friend. I guess I just forget them for no really good reason sometimes….and this time I dragged down the person who _really _makes him happier than anyone," he gestured towards Annie. "I'm….well, for lack of better words, I'm really sorry."

"It'd be much easier for me if I _didn't _understand you anyway," Annie regretted. "I usually have limits, but I forget them in times like this too. I didn't even do this to kiss Jeff…..at least I hope not. I just wanted us to enjoy spending time together….especially since we haven't done much of that lately. But he shouldn't spend time with someone who uses him and doesn't care what _he _wants! I think we both know that now….I just did it first while I could still make it right," Annie reminded.

"I shouldn't give up things like my voice and integrity to get close to a guy, even Jeff! And you shouldn't, either! I almost learned that too late, so I have to fix it and own up to it..." she trailed off as she finally turned around and saw Jeff standing nearby with Abed. "Starting now…."

"Don't worry, I made sure he stayed for the entire scene. Even the part about you getting him out of the contract. There won't be any contrived misunderstandings because he ran off before the important parts, so you're good," Abed promised.

"Right….he heard _every _part about how I almost made him cuddle with the Dean. That's good to know…." Annie quipped. To his credit, the Dean was guilty enough to just stay quiet and get away from Jeff without a word, for once. This gave Annie time to follow his lead.

Although she said she wanted to face up to this, she still felt too embarrassed to face Jeff right away. She headed off and sat in the now empty audience, hoping for enough time to craft some big apology speeches before Jeff caught her. But just her luck, he came over and sat next to her before she got halfway through speech No. 1.

"Well, that balanced out a week of silence," Jeff noted. Annie didn't know what that wisecrack said about Jeff's mood – but she had jumped to enough conclusions already.

"Jeff….I have no excuse for this. If you heard the whole story, I'm sure you know that. You didn't want to do this and I should have respected that, no matter what your reasons were," Annie admitted.

"That's kind of true. Sometimes not wanting to perform because Glee sucked too hard is…._just_ not wanting to perform because Glee sucked too hard," Jeff explained. "At least 90 percent of it is," he added in for….whatever reason.

"What's the other….no, that's _not _the point here," Annie reminded herself. "Whatever it is, it doesn't excuse how stupid I was. I mean, I thought the best way to make us work together was to _not _talk to you and make a deal with the Dean-vil!" Annie groaned at her unfortunate Dean-like nicknaming – but at least she was groaning for reasons other than guilt or shame. Yet those feelings didn't go away for too long.

"Anyway Jeff, you get that I screwed up huge, right? I wanted this to be a fairy tale show with my friends….no matter if we kissed or you saw me in a bikini or not. But my life is a crash course in how fairy tales just aren't always real," Annie deflated. She waited for Jeff to yell and agree with her, yet it seemed like she was getting the silent treatment right back. She certainly couldn't argue with that, so she prepared to leave and save her crying for home.

"But it worked," Annie heard before she was ready to get up. "Your evil plan worked….I knew it was evil and the Dean probably had _some _part in it, but I came here anyway." Now Annie finally looked at Jeff and got more comfortable in her seat. "I just couldn't stand getting the silent treatment from you….and I joined the play to stop it. I mean, I _like _when no one talks to me for days, even my friends! But I like it from everyone except you."

Annie would have normally asked why her, and been frustrated when he backed away, as usual. Yet she didn't have the right to force confessions out of Jeff now, so she let him keep going. "I figured you were teaching me a lesson for….giving _you_ the silent treatment….that summer. That just made me madder at you….well, not _just _you…but I still wanted to get through this so you'd talk to me again. Trust me, it's as confusing to me as it is to you!"

"Especially after you realized what I did, right?" Annie made herself ask, still waiting for Jeff to drop the boom after softening her up. "What do you mean? How you helped the Dean get a chance to humiliate me on stage? Or how you got me out of it?"

Annie wasn't celebrating that last part so much right now, so she was taken aback that Jeff remembered it. "After all that, I didn't have to perform embarrassing crap on stage, or pretend to fall for the Dean! You got me into this, but then you made yourself save me and it worked….it worked so freaking well!" Jeff cheered. "I would have just doubled down on the lie, but you sent Troy and Abed and their whole blorgon army out there to save me! You even made this play a more hilarious disaster than I ever imagined! And you used _legal loopholes _to get me out of that contract….I've never been more turned on!"

Jeff didn't try to hide his…choice of words and didn't even look guilty in saying them. That opened up more than Annie wanted to let herself analyze right now. "I always knew you were as devious as me, but I never knew how much until this week….both in the bad way and the really, _really _good way." Okay, now Annie_ had_ to drown herself in guilt again.

"But I never should have proved it in the bad way. Getting out of it shouldn't make it right….and if you're not going to yell at me, we should probably leave it unresolved, like always. We'll be uneasy for a few days, then we'll talk a little, then we'll get normal again until the next time one of us screws up. It's kept us going so far, so why mess with what works?"

With that, Annie was ready to leave and lock herself in her room – yet this time, Jeff stopped her by putting a hand on her wrist.

"What if I don't like how it works anymore? What if it bugs me too much that I'm mad at you _and _me at the same time?" Jeff proposed. "What if I understand you wanted us to have fun, because we keep struggling to do just_ that_ much together? And what about me _missing _you talking to me, let's not forget that part!"

"I….I don't know what I should remember or not, Jeff," Annie stated. "Of course you don't. If you did or _I _did, we wouldn't have gotten in this debacle. I mean, if almost acting with the little Dean-maid isn't a giant wakeup call, what the hell is?" That made Annie laugh for the first time in what was probably days. But then she had to ruin it by asking, "So what does this wakeup call mean for you?"

"I don't know, Annie. This whole thing didn't erase my hang-ups, or my….feelings on certain….feelings. But if not figuring it out means stuff like this happens….stuff like _you _being manipulated by _him_, me running from plays with you as a sexy mermaid, and….silent treatments from someone….important to me who _still _bailed me out…."

All these words from Jeff were stunning to Annie. But not as much as when he got up and then bent down on one knee next to her.

"Annie Edison….will you talk through our issues with me tomorrow?"

"Jeff…." Annie responded in shock – both from him going down on one knee and what he _actually _asked her. Then she wound up adopting his playful seriousness and answered, "A girl reads stories her whole life and only _dreams_ about that question!" She wanted to say yes afterwards, but she was laughing too hard – both from her line and Jeff's.

Even in this serious, potentially paradigm shifting moment, Jeff made it into something funny and playful – and she was actually able to do it too. It was so like them when they weren't hampered by their issues….and now it sounded like Jeff wanted to stop that from happening. Once they stopped laughing, she double checked with, "Are you really sure?"

"Not even close. But it can't be any worse than putting us through these messes instead. At least that's what I'll keep telling myself…." Jeff semi-joked as Annie semi-laughed. "But if I still have it in me….that's what we'll do. Give me tonight and tomorrow morning to plan out what I _want _to say, and to figure out how to say it. Then we'll talk in the lounge area, or somewhere public where I won't freak out _too_ much. And whatever we work out or don't…..wherever we go from there, we'll go from there."

"Even if it's….somewhere where we can't be friends anymore? Or anything at all?" Annie wondered.

"That last part is _not _going to happen! I, I mean, if_ this_ didn't do it…." Jeff reminded, as Annie focused less on his delivery and more on how they actually started laughing at tonight's mess. Yet they _had _now found more pressing matters.

"All right….then I guess I'd better go rest up," Annie rationalized. "I mean, between that and tonight's one-minute show, I'm way too exhausted."

"Yeah, those blorgons and not talking to people can take a lot out of you," Jeff countered, although the not talking part was said teasingly. That almost made Annie hug him in relief, but she wasn't sure if it was the right way to end this – or if she had better alternatives. Yet she ultimately stood up and settled for a "Thank you, Jeff."

"No….believe it or not, thank _you_….Milady of the water." That even made Annie groan before Jeff could. "I swear I'll have better lines than that tomorrow….so if I don't show up then, _that's _a reason why! Not me being a coward – not, not that I plan to be, of course!"

"It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Jeff. I'll be a big enough motor mouth for the both of us if I have to," Annie offered.

"I'd like that….and you know I can't say that about everyone," Jeff admitted. This was as nice a way for Annie to smile and leave as she could dream of.

And there it was. They didn't part with a kiss or a hug, or even a declaration of love. There wasn't even any guarantee that tomorrow's talk would end with them together, or even end civilly. But although this wasn't a fairy tale ending….Annie didn't mind at all. Not when Jeff wanted to talk, didn't want them to be awkward or to fight anymore, and still wanted Annie to be a part of his world….maybe even a bigger part. This was more improbable than any conventional fairy tale.

Sometimes reality wasn't so bad after all. In fact, fixing real messes she created and still being close to someone….important to her….gave Annie a better feeling than any fantasy. And if they could still salvage an even better happy ending tomorrow, then it would be so much the better.

Yet after all the failed and still possible fantasies, all the plays and costumes – and with Troy and Abed playing a wacked out blues/rap song called "Kiss The Blorgon" in the background – Annie just wanted to get some sleep. And she would certainly _not _need a bedtime story to knock her out.

**THE END**


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